Requesting support when we’re struggling can often make us feel vulnerable and weak. Almost like we feel we shouldn’t need help, I should be strong enough already. We usually think (somewhat erroneously) that we should be able to do everything ourselves or that by admitting we need help, we are somehow being weak.
Following my accident there were many dark moments, times when the world seemed to be towering in on me. Beyond the physical implications, I was on a roller coaster of emotions; my body has changed, my daily activities, my ability to do sports, my views on the world, views on life, recovery and even pain have changed. When people say ‘recovery’, you typically think of returning to how you were before the accident, before the illness or the life-changing event. But there is no going back. You do not merely recover, you reinvent yourself. You learn so much as you fight through, you find strength you never knew existed, you learn things about your body unbeknown before; it’s an irreversible journey. I am now a stronger and more determined person than ever before. I’m more grateful than ever for what I do have, more thankful for the wonderful things around me. I have a fire in my soul only this type of recovery could light
But it’s so important for me to take a moment to say that I didn’t solely battle this alone. Yes I was the only one with the real power to change my situation and push on but with support that was so much easier.
With CBT therapy I was able to work through some of the mental challenges I was facing. Change disorder was the hardest. With my broken body, I no longer saw myself as me. ‘Me’ was the fit, capable pre accident Vanessa. The body I stood in now was just a broken version, it wasn’t me and I found myself talking about myself in the third person. It was only with CBT support I was able to work through this mental block. Learning to accept the new body I was in, the body that had always been me and need my love and positive energy more than ever [more on CBT and how it works here].
This is so important to know. I remember session after session where I was in tears almost the whole time. It was exhausting. Mental draining. Painful. We worked through my battles, my inner struggles and it hurt. Talking about the accident, it hurt. It was scary. However, the end of the tunnel was in sight and getting brighter with every month that went by.
“…with time and patience, I knew I would get there — only I had the power to make it happen, and hard work pays off!”
If you’re new to my page – it’s more than just dirt bike riding and racing, I’m on a mission to prove that nothing is impossible if you want it bad enough. See more about my story plus read about my life changing accident, which started it all.